#Perfect Day 28/04/2014

#PerfectDay #BirthdayFlowers #ChocolateCake #SpringRain #Feelingloved #Bliss !!!

The beautiful flowers my sister Keira sent me

TODAY WAS MY 34TH BIRTHDAY 

I SPENT IT 85% ALONE

IT RAINED ALL DAY 

THIS WAS THE FIRST BIRTHDAY EVER WHERE I WOKE FEELING DIFFERENT FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE....

#planetary influences !! ( wink wink) 

Its also the first birthday where i bought myself not one but two gifts.

- A soul reading

- I am joining Susannah Conway on the-sacred-alone starting Monday cant wait !! 

Earth Team Support

http://www.starchildglobal.com/EarthTeamSupport.html

love & light !! & Happiness 

* every time i write the words love & light i think of my 88 year old grandmother : ), love and light came into her life after my grandfathers death over 20 years ago, i have hundreds of cards and letters from her over the past 10 years that she has sent to be here in Turkey each always finishing with Love & Light, i adopted the same term as i just find it so literal and beautiful to send love and light... and here a pinch of Happiness for good measure ! 

I know that Love & Light is universally used but i love that too me they are always my grandmothers. 

April Warrior

APRIL I WILL...

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Embrace my Inner Warrior

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Join empoweringastrologys Self Developent and Ritual for April

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Practice Greater Self Care 

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Mindful March....

"The month in which i became mindful of the darkness"

So this was my mindful month....

*Silence
*Awakening
*Sweet Dreams
*Dark Dreanms
* Grateful : to the person who asked me how i was.. only to greeted by unending tears

* Love and Light 

* Angels 

*Soul Searching 

* Number Sequences

* Unlearning "loneliness" 

*Book Club 

* Daydreaming 

* Empathetic Circles

*Grounding 

*Embracing anger 

*Searching for a cord cutting email or piece that i was given several years ago and not remembering where...reading through many many blogs and other memories.. feeling strength in others journeys...but not not finding what i was searching for...

Last night was the New Moon in Aries, the start of the New Astrological New Year, the night of the 29th, the wind here howled late into the morning, the gusts kept me awake most of the night but as i feel asleep almost exhausted from the disruption..i felt the surge and the shift. I woke and made two decisions that i had been stumbling on for months. 

I have been physically ill now for 3 weeks, the huge X class Flare on Saturday meant that i couldn't make head now hare over how awful i felt as i have felt like this for week, but today i woke with only a mild headache and tiredness, so what for April the theme for April ? Detox/Cleanse/ Daily Self Reiki ?

I will let that come to me tomorrow. 

I also have become aware of how protective Ceyda is off me, she softer and gentler with me, she doesn't try to argue and often makes comments about wanting to help me work or clean , since  i have been ill i had these crippling headaches, she massages my head for me.

I am conscious of this... in a strange way remembering how much i wanted my own mother to "feel better" growing up, i don't want her to have this burden... so i am conscious of it... i know that i have only had a cold/flu but it alerted me to her empathy. The same Empathy that i am struggling so much with right now. 

This weekend had a lovely time together playing barbies, making collages, playing in the garden, mummy daughter days ! 

and so onto April... 

Namaste`

Love & Light

(and the darkness inbetween) 

Mindful March

This month is my Mindful Month, I see hear and feel the word in almost everything i see and, 11.11 Angel Feathers, Silence, Focus and Calm that is what i crave. So will give myself this Month of Mindfulness, i will help to Cleanse and Balance my Soul so that this Fog can Clear.

No matter how hard i try, i cannot be surrounded, my empathy is so strong it feels a weakness, a burden so great that at times i cannot breathe, i find myself seeing the unseen and hearing the unheard and doing the one thing i dislike... judging...loosing control and feeling anger, feeling a rising darkness....

Namaste'

let there be light...

I read this quote this morning and it just felt so beautiful. Almost magical to look at. I can almost feel the warmth of the sun lapping off the page. 

"THE ASTONISHING LIGHT OF YOUR OWN BEING" 

Goodbye 2013 Hello 2014

I know this post is late, i have been sleeping lately maybe resting my soul ? I am not sure but i am awake now : ) : ) 
2013 in review: 
It was powerful, painful year for me personally, i learned to let go, only to be let go, i stopped fighting only to have the fight find me...i released so much that i felt hollow...i worked hard to heal maybe too hard, i missed some steps i fell, for a time i felt as though i couldn't stand....so i sat and stayed, i breathed... i wanted to go home... i wanted to stay..in the end i stayed behind. 
(I will talk about this more in my new blog)

My journey with my daughter is by far the most magical beautiful part of my life, in 2013 i watched as all the baby/ toddler in her disappeared and a girl a little girl appeared, a girl who is sensitive an kind, intuitive and inquisitive..fierce and strong, full of courage and sometimes frustration and anger.. pure beauty.

I found my balance with a group and a friend Keya Rainbow Heart, welcomed by her family i found my own, i found my voice, i didn't feel alone. 

2014 is about focus and love and fulfillment