Mindful March....

"The month in which i became mindful of the darkness"

So this was my mindful month....

*Silence
*Awakening
*Sweet Dreams
*Dark Dreanms
* Grateful : to the person who asked me how i was.. only to greeted by unending tears

* Love and Light 

* Angels 

*Soul Searching 

* Number Sequences

* Unlearning "loneliness" 

*Book Club 

* Daydreaming 

* Empathetic Circles

*Grounding 

*Embracing anger 

*Searching for a cord cutting email or piece that i was given several years ago and not remembering where...reading through many many blogs and other memories.. feeling strength in others journeys...but not not finding what i was searching for...

Last night was the New Moon in Aries, the start of the New Astrological New Year, the night of the 29th, the wind here howled late into the morning, the gusts kept me awake most of the night but as i feel asleep almost exhausted from the disruption..i felt the surge and the shift. I woke and made two decisions that i had been stumbling on for months. 

I have been physically ill now for 3 weeks, the huge X class Flare on Saturday meant that i couldn't make head now hare over how awful i felt as i have felt like this for week, but today i woke with only a mild headache and tiredness, so what for April the theme for April ? Detox/Cleanse/ Daily Self Reiki ?

I will let that come to me tomorrow. 

I also have become aware of how protective Ceyda is off me, she softer and gentler with me, she doesn't try to argue and often makes comments about wanting to help me work or clean , since  i have been ill i had these crippling headaches, she massages my head for me.

I am conscious of this... in a strange way remembering how much i wanted my own mother to "feel better" growing up, i don't want her to have this burden... so i am conscious of it... i know that i have only had a cold/flu but it alerted me to her empathy. The same Empathy that i am struggling so much with right now. 

This weekend had a lovely time together playing barbies, making collages, playing in the garden, mummy daughter days ! 

and so onto April... 

Namaste`

Love & Light

(and the darkness inbetween)