The Sacred Alone,,,,

I recently completed the Scared Alone ...a wonderful beautiful way to spend two weeks and twenty minutes a day in self love, meditation and soulful thought.

It also helped to pull together the gatherings of the past year....where i have indeed, blanketed myself in the alone.... i really cant call it loneliness as it doesn't feel lonely anymore, its like the lonely part just floated away.( In a good way ! )

It feels like a blanket or something sacred you own, it comfortable and always there and loved.

Sometimes i miss it, the feeling of connections, weekly meetings, lots of faces.. putting the world and universe to right, deep conversations intermingled with laughter and chatter and coffee shops with noisy kids but mostly it feels like a lifetime away.

I don't really leave my space anymore, a book club meeting here and there.. a charity group that can be hard work but i crave the company every now an again.

I was always the introverted extrovert, except now its like i am stuck in introvert gear. I am almost lazy in my own space, my energy goes in work and family...in a cycle.. during my recent soul session i described my sense of tiredness not loneliness.. Once i saw what i wrote, it caught me almost winded me. I feel tired...., i think that when surrounded by people friends or whoever , they reflect back to us what we reflect to them. Conversation and energy supports mindset.. Now my mindset is the same but its muted colorless almost.. i am not less happier or sadder or more stressed.. Im actually no different in the way i think or deal with and process things. But maybe that's why i feel so comfortable in my own sacred alone.Nothing is actually wrong the picture is still there its just in Black and White now.

My connections have changed, there are Skype conversations and whats app messages.. blogs and soulful inspiring connections online.

Transition can be hard,I nurture my connections so when they are lost it only makes sense that i also feel lost and perhaps subsequently disconnect. 

I always assumed my empathy had increased over the past few months, but i had one of those moments where the stars line up after my soul reading with DM and it took a while for the realization to come.

That my physical & emotional connections maintain the balance, not the other way around. Its why i feel drawn to people and situations. When i pull back from the world, as i have done since late Summer last year, the world, the feeling intensifies as there is no marker, its like jumping into the ocean with no direction. 

" but they are under-estimating what it is to be the kind of empath you are, and really I don’t like to use that as a description for you. It is not that ‘you are an empath’ and that now explains everything - it is that your empathy is a symptom, a consequence of you essentially being who you are who.........you came from a place where this is how it was. You didn’t switch that off when you came here, and so here you are feeling everything all the time! " Quote DM. 

Of course i had to get here to understand, to see this and feel this.

So whats next ? Maybe a rope to climb out of the cave : ) .....