Summer Time...& Julia

We just came back from a lovely family holiday In Bodrum, Mum Dad and my sister and her b oyfriend joined us : ) we all had a lovely time even my dad seemed relaxed. Will include pics in the next post : )

We also celebrated Ceydas 5th birthday there on the 21st July,  but i will leave that for the next post too, its been a while since i dedicated a post to the little bee, that tells me she came from the solar system and that she knew her friend Luka before she was born here.I know it in part comes from a very natural inquisitiveness about the universes and solar system but there are time she says things so firmly that it makes you stop to think how beautiful her world is.

and me i am settled and so happy to be back in Izmir.
I am having very unusual dreams at the moment.. last night i dreamt i was held hostage in a building with many other people i didn't recognize..and a few days before that i dreamt of my friend Julia from when i was 18, the only friend i had that died. A fun friend with a huge heart but a recklessness about her life, she died overdosing on Ecstasy .I still remember that night clearly i remember feeling worried for her as she was seemed extra reckless that night, i asked her to come home with me but instead she went home with other friends, i still remember her turning, her blond hair loosely tied in high ponytail and waving to say goodbye. It was last time i saw her. I didn't visit her at the hospital while she was on life support, the Isla then didn't do that, i didn't do emotion very well..i didn't go to her funeral either, i visited her grave once to say goodbye before i went to london and never returned. It was in London that i grieved for her and saw her everywhere coffee shops, cafes walking ahead of me in the street.
After time i stopped seeing her.. until a few nights ago in the dream and when i woke yesterday morning i felt a huge sadness wash over me and then peace. Goodbyes are really hard for me always no matter what kind of goodbye it is but peace it always comes.