Roundabouts

New moon new beginning...or not ?  today was once of those nice but odd days... oh and the wind was blowing so hard since i woke up... from the moment i was awake i could feel the energy change.It was almost as though i was literally being blown places.

Yesterday i said i may go somewhere... to stop by and say hi to some old friends.. i has already decided  i wouldn't go but i ended up there there anyway.. some strange coincidence.. a cancelled Turkish lesson became a coffee with my fellow lesson friend and then a can we stop by here and see... it turned out my old friends from years back are this persons new friends. 

Its weird it feels 100% as though i simply do not fit anywhere anymore, i became hyper aware..its like all my old friends from the last one/two/three years just fell away.. like a domino effect i think that's the mistake you make when you believe that the friends of your friends are also your own. Efforts were made coffee invites.. emails.. but i soon realized to let it go to let it all go.. 

and then today somehow i ended up in a physical reminder of my life pre Ceyda...memories abound..a little bit being in my own still life movie, it was nice but it didn't fit. 

When i am alone i do not feel alone but today surrounded... i felt very much alone...its such a strange conundrum and i am sure happened for me to recognize this and to understand it. 

So tomorrow another day

xx