2011

Usually at the end of every year i make up this grand list of things that i want to achieve... what i want to work on... how i want the year to be. This year i didnt do this, my list was shorter and therefore memorable...

*to work further on family relationships that i that thought were once healed

* to remain as connected as possible to dear friends wherever they may be

* to spend more time with my sisters

* to " move on" from my fears and trust myself and all that surrounds me

* to trust my body, it gave me Ceyda... and it will hopefully give me a baby brother or sister for her.

I had this email from a friend from high school recently..i was congratulating her on her newly launched singing career her reply was sweet and authentic and her words made me smile.                                                        " I'd heard that you'd settled in Turkey and were very happy focussing on your 'brood' ;) you always did have a knack for looking after us all! " 

Its true i was often the designated by choice,semi sober one but thats not why i smiled, it was because i realised i have learnt to take of myself as well as others and more importantly allow others to take care of me. 

What have i learnt from 2010, that the things i do are my own choices, conscious or subconscious and that i cannot and should not have expectations of others. ( I wish i had know this several years ago when a dear friendship ended or rather had to be ended ) 

Ok...

I am about to sit down with my last Cadburys Hot Chocolate ( my mother brought them for her trip to visit us )  and my bee and watch a movie of her choice, she is tired and i am crampy and uncomfortable..İ: ( : (. and let the thoughts of impending fertility treatment sink in. Its a journey i am ready for but some snuggling with bee will make everything seem better...(plus a heat in the microwave lavender bag : ) 

My Lovely Mum & Ceyda at Coffee Shop